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But I'd rather fail a hearing test than find out. When my boyfriend first messaged me on OkCupid, he teased me about not knowing who Richard Pryor was in the eighth grade.

On our first date, we debated tuna versus salmon in sushi and discussed the etymology of random words.

On our second date, we roamed the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and made friends with a little girl named Sophia.

At this point, we've been dating for seven months and he has still never told me, "I love your hair. My experience with interracial dating in the South as a gay black man has been emotionally exhausting.

Conversely, white men here in Georgia often go out of their way to shut black men down on the sole basis of them being black.

All too often do I see the words "NO BLACKS" on various dating and app profiles, which doesn't provide much insight as to why they feel this way, and what made them declare it in such an aggressive and demeaning way.

Honestly, as a black man in the South, you're either fetishized to the point of having a wounded body image and self-esteem at least in my experience , or you're so ostracized and hated by your white counterparts that you also begin to question your own body politics, but for different reasons.

I like having sex with black men, and my desire puts me on a hazardous line between racism and diversity. I try to own it.

My gay social media profiles say things like "like 'em darker" or "fan of diversity," which are attempts, perhaps only somewhat successful at best, to live and project my desire in terms that the other will experience as inclusive, not racist.

My black sex partners seem to walk that same ambiguous line, pleased that I desire them, eager to satisfy me, and yet never able to escape completely the sense of being fetishized by me.

I know this because some of them talk about it directly; in other cases, it's just a look in the eye, a tone of voice, during our pre- or post-repartee.

I've lived and worked in places where white men justify their racial discrimination with lines like, "It's not a prejudice, just a preference.

Even when I allow myself to think or put into words why I like these men, it feels potentially racist. The black men I choose to have sex with are, yes, big and strong and sexually dominant, but their size and strength and dominance never, never make me feel small or weak or submissive, except to the extent that I take pleasure in feeling that way.

Instead, they make me feel cherished, respected, desirable. I find these men to be warm and generous of body and spirit in a way that feels culturally bound, if not racially specific.

And I enjoy it, and I want it in my life. In high school, I dated a tall, handsome, green-eyed white boy. The first time I had dinner with his family, my boyfriend's father spoke to his wife, acknowledged his daughters, and joked with his son, but acted like I wasn't there.

I was salutatorian of my graduating class, college-bound, articulate, appropriately dressed, charming, kind, and loved his son fiercely — the kind of girl most fathers want for their sons.

At the prompting of some friends, I joined OkCupid. The first guy I went out with the one who didn't send me a dick pic was a pedicab driver.

He brought his dog to our date. The dog was wearing a dress. Over the course of three cocktails, the guy told me he owned a ferret and kept chickens.

In his house. Indoor chickens. No second date. But, it turns out, driving a pedicab gives you incredible glutes and thighs. The second guy from OkCupid I went out with was Omar.

On his profile, he was this beautiful Hispanic man with giant muscled arms, thick dark hair, and beautiful dark skin. In real life, he probably had been all of those things — about 10 years ago.

Still, he was cute enough. And into me. Even though he said he usually "liked his women dumb. On the way home, he sent me these flirty texts about how he wished he had his arms around my "thick, hot body" and what he wanted to do to my "thick little body.

Did this dick call me fat?! So, I never responded. And when I told my beautiful Hispanic therapist about how offended I was, she started laughing.

And said, "Oh, mija. That's a compliment. For Latin men, thick is beautiful. I'm an Asian-American woman and 5 feet 8 inches tall. I don't think I'm that tall, but most of my dates, usually white or Latino guys, find a way to bring it up in conversation.

I've never dated an Asian girl taller than 5 foot. I told one guy that, as a New York native, I finally got my driver's license at age I was super excited about it, but he killed the mood pretty quickly when he said, "How?

You're Asian. I'm staying off the road for good. My husband is Irish and I'm an African-American woman. Even in the diverse neighborhood where we live, we sometimes get not-so-subtle hints that we are breaking an unspoken rule simply by being together.

We'll walk into a restaurant, laughing and chatting. No one else is behind us. The host asks, "How many? The cashier looks at us, puzzled, until I say, "We're together.

Do these things happen to all couples, or is it all in my head? Even asking that question is part of the reality of being part of an interracial couple or family.

My parents are also an interracial couple, and we rarely talked about race. Retrieved 1 May Retrieved 24 March Results only available from the election.

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Namespaces Article Talk. Views Read Edit View history. Cuckolding is not for everyone. For some hot wives, what seems at first like a "have your cake and eat it too" arrangement turns into feelings of confusion.

My new husband and I have always enjoyed our sex life. We have been together for five years now, and our sexual energy together still feels electric.

Then, out of nowhere, he told me one day that he wanted to catch me in the act of having sex with another man. Although I have zero sexual attraction to other men, I agreed to try it out.

The question then became where to find a willing male participant. After weeks of talking to trusted friends, we ended up on a swinger's site and found many eager seekers.

Immediately, my husband became way more interested in sex with me. At first I absolutely loved it, although I was curious about why this turned him on so much.

When I asked him, he explained, "I think it's because I always felt a lot of rejection from girls as a young man and even as I got older.

I worry that the women I have close relationships with might leave me for other men, and acting it out in a controlled environment actually makes me feel safe.

He knows I would never leave him, but he likes to imagine that I'm a dirty girl who likes to have sex all the time with strangers behind his back.

He even likes it when I sext with guys while we're having sex together so he can read it. So, how is this for me? I have done this a few times for him now, and I've found that I do not physically or emotionally enjoy the sex with other men.

I am able to go through the motions and act like I love it. I have yet to achieve an orgasm during sex with someone else.

Usually after we've played, he claims his interest in me having sex with other men has started to wane, but then, after a few weeks, it always returns.

I have now refused to do another cuckold scenario until he's willing to fulfill some of my fantasies as well, although that has not yet happened.

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Tuesday Malone agrees that her blog would be brought to a swift conclusion if her husband found it, although she takes steps to avoid that, using a proxy server, only blogging when she's alone in the house and always deleting her browsing history.

She claims she's equivocal whether discovery would actually be a good thing — but she hesitates and I can't decide if the implication is that it might free her to keep blogging without subterfuge, or that being exposed might in itself be good blog material.

For many anonymous bloggers the risks of being found out are outweighed by the benefits that blogging brings, despite concern that discovery could hurt loved ones.

Kimberly describes the dangers in her blog, The Errant Wife www. Serial Mistress, a divorcee who dates married men and writes about her experiences at serialmistress.

There's an argument that says infidelity blogs are written to the detriment of relationships. But does guilt exist in virtual reality?

Opinion is divided. Ms Scarlett, a fortysomething married mum, writes about her affair with a married man at msscarlettletter.

She doesn't feel guilt about her affair or her blog, and argues that's common among infidelity bloggers.

Not sure. Maybe we've been pushed far enough in our real lives that it just doesn't feel wrong," she muses. In contrast, Callie feels guilty on both counts.

But just learning about what I have done would be devastating to our relationship," she admits. I am betraying my lover by writing my blog.

But somehow I have blocked the guilt and not allowed myself to feel it. The thing I feel most guilty about is not feeling guilty.

At heart, infidelity blogging appears to be an effort to give concrete reality to relationships that often have their roots in unreality; to legitimise something that society mostly denounces.

An infidelity blogger might not be able to hold the hand of her lover in public but she can create an online persona around their affair and write in intimate detail about illicit hours spent together.

Still, writing online about infidelity could be seen as a harder betrayal to understand than the adultery itself.

After all, while an affair can be unintentional, or at least unpremeditated, there's nothing unwitting about blogging. It's hard not to feel pangs of pity for the partners who know less about the person with whom they exchanged vows than scores of virtual strangers.

But it's not always easy, either, to condemn the choices of those for whom adultery and the internet offer a release from the realities of difficult relationships.

Either way, whether they are seeking virtual absolution or just attention, the new infidelity bloggers seem to be having their cake and writing about it too.

I blog about my experiences as a single woman, dating married men. I started blogging to help people understand that mistresses aren't all home-wreckers and unpaid hookers.

I'll always be in the firing line regarding my life as a serial mistress but even if my blog came under criticism I wouldn't stop.

The typical mistress has always been portrayed as a damaged woman who falls for a man she can't have, and spends the rest of her time either pining over him or trying to wreck his marriage.

I'm not interested in wrecking homes or destroying lives and I make no demands of the men I date, so I have nothing to be ashamed of. I refuse to hide just because that's what society says the "scarlet woman" should do.

I love being single and I enjoy the company of successful, charismatic men who have other lives to go to when they're not with me.

I love living alone and I enjoy close relationships with attached men, without it becoming mundane, without having to pick up pants off the floor, and without the grief and hassle most relationships endure.

I am a mother, a partner, a businesswoman, a friend and a lover. The real me never really sees the light of day until I blog. My blog allows me to share my experience with a like-minded community.

I didn't realise there were so many of us out there until I started this journey. My personal feelings are usually hidden beneath a veneer.

As a mum and businesswoman I'm required to be on my best behaviour but sometimes you just need an outlet to say the things you can't normally say.

Mums have it hard — society still expects us to be virtuous and homely, and we don't have the equality in the home that we do in business.

We lose all sense of sexuality and self. I think this is why we are seeing a rise in female bloggers. Just to say out loud what you feel is a form of therapy.

I feel guilty everyday but I'm not doing anything that hasn't been done before, it's just wrapped up in a different package. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone and that's always in the back of my mind.

Maybe I'll stop when my story is told. I've been married for almost seven years and I have slept with quite a few other men. My husband is not aware.

I looked on the web to see if there were other women in the same situation and all I found were people being shot down by the moral police.

So I started my blog as an experiment; a place to order my thoughts and talk at my own pace, and to connect with others in similar circumstances and find out if they felt the same things.

I love my hubby dearly; I don't think I love him any less than someone who is faithful. My blog is not a place for evangelists against cheating, although I do listen to good advice.

Maybe blogging is a justification. Maybe it's a desire for community. I write about my infidelities from an emotional and physical perspective.

I love my sexuality and want to connect with others like me. Besides my friends, the people who read my blog are mostly spectators and voyeurs like me.

I like reading about people who love their spouses but have discreet sexual fun with others. I am a thirtysomething married woman having an affair.

I started blogging because I felt isolated from both my husband and my married lover. The feeling of liberation was immediate.

My blog is my journey through the moral and emotional minefield of infidelity, as well as its social and personal consequences.

I write about my experiences of reading between text- message lines and having to explain why one's knickers are in one's handbag and not on one's person.

Blogging enables me to share my experiences with a like-minded, non-judgemental community, who provide a surprising level of emotional support and analysis.

It's extremely comforting to know I am not alone. I began writing for myself, but I now write with my "commenters" in mind. I find it inspiring to write "to" this community because I know I have a sympathetic and encouraging audience.

Part of the attraction is also the element of danger surrounding writing an anonymous public blog. I started blogging because I needed somewhere to get my thoughts down without fear of judgement.

I also needed an outlet before I started talking about my other life to people in my real life. I write about my relationship with my lover — its ups and downs, as well as about relationships in general.

I don't really consider it public. I don't write under my own name, and there's no way anyone I know would identify me as the writer even if they found the blog.

It started as an outlet, somewhere to talk about my life, but it has turned into a community, a sharing of ideas with people I've never met but who I consider friends.

They know exactly what I'm talking about — we've all been through a lot of the same things. As one of them said just today, "Whoever said pen-pals are a thing of the past never tried blogging".

I write for myself; it's the cheapest therapy I'll ever get. I would be stunned if my family ever found my blog and connected it to me, so I don't really worry about being caught.

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Green Party. Boris Johnson. Jeremy Corbyn. US Politics. Help The Hungry. Shappi Khorsandi. Mary Dejevsky. Robert Fisk. In a remote town in Iceland, Police desperately try to solve a crime as a powerful storm descends upon the town.

Votes: 14, Follows the story of Toru Muranishi's unusual and dramatic life filled with big ambitions as well as spectacular setbacks in his attempt to turn Japan's porn industry on its head.

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Juan and his urban family live in the Mexican countryside, where they enjoy and suffer a world apart. And nobody knows if these two worlds are complementary or if they strive to eliminate one another.

R min Drama. A woman uses her bureaucratic job to convince divorcing couples to stay together is utterly committed to getting pregnant by her husband in a future of dance parties, ritualistic orgies and fundamentalist Christianity.

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Votes: 2, Crime, Drama. A policeman gets into a spiral of events, in which assault, extortion and murder are proven means.

Votes: NC 93 min Drama, Thriller. A wife escapes her pressure-filled marriage only to have her husband haunt her literally and figuratively.

Unrated 93 min Comedy, Drama. Not Rated min Drama, Romance. Although Frank is always cheating on her, Eva still cannot bring herself to leave him.

But Frank objects both when Eva becomes pregnant as well as when she takes a lover of her own. Desdemona lives on an isolated island with her strange family: her father Mario, her stepmother Dulcinea and her mentally challenged sister Paulova.

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Nick, an adulterous New Yorker, relocates to the Midwest with his wife Sarah. Nick soon forms a unique bond with a wealthy local farmer and discovers that the secret haunting him is not so easily left behind.

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